Tag Archives: fear

Daydream Believer…

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Hello Dear Ones!

      “Worry and daydreaming are different aspects of the same thing:
        your creative imagination.
       Worrying creates blueprints of what you do not want…
        unintentional creation of your future.
       Daydreaming creates blueprints of what you do want…
        intentional creation of your future.”
    ~ Gordana Biernat: #Know the Truth… inspiration #80…

Friday mid-afternoon, my husband and I helped out our son & daughter-in-law by babysitting our precious soon-to-be 3-year-old grandson. We took him outside so Mommy & Daddy could finish up their respective workdays from home. It was the first time we were with him outside without his parents. He eagerly agreed to hold hands crossing the street as we headed over to the now-vacant school yard. Having his 3-wheeled scooter with us… and his helmet… we got him properly attired and set him free.

My goodness were we ever thrilled to see how far he had come in his scootering skills. Having expected to be running after him routinely, we were in awe at the proficiency of his acquired abilities! An hour later he had finally tired of this activity and was drawn to the playground. Taking gymnastics classes, he has developed a body awareness that allows him the confidence to take wise risks with foot placement. No security of foot? No forward motion. He shifts until he finds the support he now knows to recognize as being safe. Keep in mind he had both grandparents bracing him surreptitiously on either side… just in case.

Until… and here comes the reason for today’s post… he decided to sit on a raised platform and wiggle himself backwards. The motion caused giggles and faster movements, and by the time we realized what was happening, he had scooted over to the edge of the platform and took a graceful roll backwards, his head leading the way down the 1 foot drop. I got to him first, as I was closest… but his tumble had caused a major bang to the back of his head. Needless to say, the pain and the shock of the fall had him confused, scared and hurting. My ears can attest to the fact that the boy has a healthy set of lungs!

Wisdom took over. I quietly checked him out to ensure nothing was broken. Nothing was. That his eyes were responding as they should. They were. And I held him close to my heart and soothingly spoke to him. Letting him know I was aware he was hurting, that it was okay to cry it through, and somehow got him to deep breathe in time to my slower, deeper breaths.

Once he was calm, we asked him if he wanted to go back home to Mommy & Daddy, and all 3 of us walked slowly back to his house. By the time we got there, the fall was an adventure in our grandson’s mind that he had to share with his folks, proudly showing them the boo boo he had on the back of his head. He asked for something to drink and a snack as though nothing had ever happened.

But me? I was a basket case. Most definitely feeling guilty, responsible, like a bad grandparent. Had he landed a mere few inches to his right he’d have hit his head on what I remembered as being a cement support. Blessings be that hadn’t occurred, but I was still feeling guilty. What if he had a concussion? We might not know for sure till morning. So, as you can imagine, I didn’t sleep well at all that night.

My thoughts and sporadic dreams were worrisome fears of potentially negative outcomes. I was scared for the child and the parents. There was nothing I could do that I hadn’t done, yet I worried and stressed through most of the night.

Then I remembered the above quote from Gordana Biernat’s book! When I regrouped my thoughts, I realized that I had wasted the past several hours in envisioning ~ creating, if you will ~ negative scenarios… none of which I wanted to unfold. I was worrying about an outcome I didn’t want. What a waste of energy!

It took me a while, and some imaginative creativity, but I was able to envision a healthy, happy boy bouncing out of bed in the morning, laughing as he always does, nothing at all wrong. I began daydreaming. I could eventually see this special child with us, his grandfather & I, sharing many more fun-filled days in the weeks, months and years ahead.

Like the deep breaths I taught our grandson after his fall, I began deep breathing, and daydreaming the reality I wanted as an outcome. And I eventually, and more peacefully, fell into a restful sleep.

It took a few hours to get through to my son the next morning to learn that there had been absolutely no repercussions from the fall or the experience… no concussion, no visible marks, no nightmares… all was good! Of course it was!

Hard as they are, I appreciate such valuable lessons that help teach me ~ yes, even in my ripe old age ~ how to shift my energies from fear and worry to those of loving, calm, trusting experiences. I obviously still re-act to scary situations with old, previously-learned responses, yet I am more quickly opening to ways of seeing and being that bring an ease and a joy to my life.

As Gordana would say: “… knowing who you are changes everything!”

In Light and Laughter,

Marcia

PS: Thanks to the Monkees for the title of today’s post!

 

 

A Double-Down Anniversary

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Hi Folks:

Today (June 8, 2020) is a very special day for us, for a couple of reasons. For one, 18 years ago today Marcia proposed. On one knee, at the edge of a creek along a walking trail in the woods. After weighing the pros and cons of the idea, giving each side appropriate merit and thinking of all of the possible outcomes (all of which took approximately 0.36 seconds), Mike of course said, “YES!” Not that much of a fool. We continue to say “YES!” to each other every day. 🙂

Forever Valentines
Forever Valentines (image made February 14, 2012)

Continue Reading →

Marcia’s Meanderings: Anger = Fear, Masked

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Hello Dear Ones!

Interesting that last week Mike and I wrote about “When dreams do NOT come true” in our He says/She Says post. Here’s a direct link to my take on the topic … Marcia Says … Notice I talk about being angry.

The week before, tied in to a Hallowe’en theme, our joint topic was on the masks we wear. Today I’ve had a strong – very strong – inclination to connect the two: anger as a mask.

It’s easier to be angry than it is to be scared. Anger is familiar. It is within my control. I can mumble, grumble, explode, lash out, blame others and the Universe as much as I want.

Fear, on the other hand, leaves me feeling helpless, powerless, lacking in control, weak, vulnerable, even impotent.

Being angry I feel powerful, in control. Being afraid, I feel like a victim. Continue Reading →

He Says, She Says… F.E.A.R.

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Hello, Dear Reader:

Someone (we’re not sure to whom to give credit) once described fear as an acronym:

F alse
E xpectations
A ctualizing
R eality

We’ve all felt fear from time to time, whether it was a simple case of being startled, an overwhelming sense of dread, or somewhere in between.  So, the question is, can fear be justified?  Not the quick surge of fear that takes us unawares, but the long-standing constant fear that can eat away at our psyche.  After all, fear is always about anticipation of an event, not the result of same.

There’s an old saying that goes something like this (copied from memory, so please forgive any inaccuracies):

Where there is fear
there is danger.
Consequently, where there is no fear
there is no danger.

If the man and the tiger
are not one,
then the tiger may attack
out of fear.

But if the man and the tiger are truly one
then the tiger will not attack.
For what animal
would knowingly attack itself?

Hugs,
M&M

Follow these links to read what He Says/She Says: Marcia’s View / Mike’s View

Marcia’s Meanderings – Overcoming the Fear Funk

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Hello Dear Ones!

Ever find yourself in a rut where fear has talons hooked deeply into your psyche and won’t release it’s hold? Ya, me too!

Fortunately it happens less often and for shorter and shorter periods of time. Blessings be! Yet when it does surface – showing me a perspective I don’t want to see or address or acknowledge in any way shape or form – I feel frozen into immobility. Everything in my world takes on a gray pallor and I see the fear, missing out on the beauty and sparkle of all else around me. So sad.

My most recent Fear Funk stopped me from writing anything positive. No poetry. No journaling in the front of my binder. I record all negative energy entries in the back of my journal book to at least keep up my writing habit, as well to separate the negative from the more upbeat positive energies. Also, it means I can tear up those negative pages when I’ve moved beyond and through the challenge they revealed to me.

Believe it or not, fear is a gift to us – one that reveals a challenge we need to address within ourselves. Next time you’re in a Fear Funk, when you can get to the point of appreciating the gift it is giving you, you’ll know you are on your way to a solution and the joyous release of its hold on you.

One of the keys to removing those nasty talons that have dug deep into your soul, is to name the fear. Once the Fear Funk is named – give it a label or make a statement about what hold it has over you – then you can more easily address the challenge and more freely side-step your way out of its strangle-hold.

Most often the plain and simple truth of the matter, the bottom line of it all, is that there is no trust in the value of self. No value in self means no value in Self and certainly no trust in the Divine.

When the Fear Funk has a hold of you and the feeling of optimism or any potential thoughts of hope are so far removed they don’t even show up in your vocabulary let alone in your dreams, it’s time to do three things:

1. define and name the Fear Funk.
2. force your mouth into a smile. Curl the edges of your mouth into a grin. Even if the smile doesn’t reach your eyes and your heart in the moment but merely adds to the wrinkles on your face – smile.
3. think of the happiest, silliest, most joyously and memorable time you ever had as a child … and then *g*i*g*g*l*e* about it! *G*i*g*g*l*e* until you feel a wee spark of joy within you. That little feeling of joy is one or more talons gone from your solar plexus. *G*i*g*g*l*e* more, letting it take on a life of its own and filling you to overflowing! The Fear Funk hates laughter with a passion – it can’t keep its hold on you when you’re laughing!

When you are ready you can add one more phrase to the statement or the name you’ve given this ‘gift’: one that reflects the trust you are more likely to be feeling – that all will, in fact, work out perfectly – if you can only have enough faith that the Divine Universe will conspire on your behalf to bring the necessary solution into your reality. It may arrive just in the nick of time (depending upon how open you are to receiving it) yet it is there for you! Can you feel it?

With the Divine conspiring on my behalf,  I can …. !

Be gone, Fear Funk!

In Light and Laughter,

Marcia

Marcia’s Meanderings – The Immobilizer

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Hello Dear Ones!

Sunday’s She Says – Embracing Perfection post may have given you a hint as to what my discussion might be today.

Two very powerful reasons almost brought that potential to a screeching halt:

1. The weekend’s passionate excitement became yesterday’s fear.
2. Yesterday’s fear brought forward old beliefs of not being good enough.

The plans I had to take my first baby steps forward into a new venture yesterday fizzled out with self-doubt and fear traumatizing my courage and questioning my value. What right had I to approach people promoting my hobby as a tool they should a) need and b) pay for … ? If there was no value to my own self in what I do, how did I expect others to see value in this?

Confidence flew out the window and perched on the nearest tree laughing at me, taunting me. I just wanted to cry. Yet I wanted to sleep – lay down, take a nap and forget the ugliness I was feeling inside. The Immobilizer – FEAR – had found a perfect place to nestle, expanding the terror and frozen world of inaction within me.

Doesn’t sound like the Pollyanna – the woman who sees the glass as being full (1/2 liquid plus 1/2 air) – that you’ve come to know over the past 6 months, does it? In Sunday’s post I spoke about embracing the perfection of who I am in every moment – with the excited anticipation of becoming even more. Yet knowing there could potentially be more for me, I was astonished to awake with immense self-doubt. As the day progressed, I became more and more agitated, convinced that my excitement was totally misguided.

My e-friend (and a very wise woman) Renee Ludwigs’ recent post discusses her dog Rudy and his persistence. Sad as it may seem, I envy Rudy his level of ‘dogged’ persistence. Me, I get truly excited about something and it’s the best thing since chocolate … yet, without continued variety and excitement, my enthusiasm has the potential to dwindle, fizzle, sputter and die.

Thinking back, I realized that only the things that kept me impassioned over time ever made it from the drawing board out into the ‘real’ world. I had to give serious thought as to whether this new adventure had such potential within me – enough to give me the ‘dogged’ determination to not only start but to follow through to its finish.

I decided today that it did have that characteristic.

The first step I was going to take yesterday and did not – I took today! I just hit the ‘SEND’ button on an e-mail that has the potential to jettison me into an exciting future!

Pollyanna is still alive and well and she’s living in Victoria, BC, Canada! And the Immobilizer? The Immobilizer has been vanquished … for this situation at least!

In Light and Laughter,

Marcia

Marcia’s Meanderings

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See this world as a free world, and see everyone in it as trying “through their individual experiences” to find their way back to that calling, back to that Source Energy. And even though there are billions of them going about it in a way that is different than you would choose, there’s no right or wrong way. In other words, bless them all, and get on with the only thing you have any power about, which is opening or closing your vortex to your natural state of Well-Being.

— Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in San Francisco, CA on Saturday, February 28th, 2004 #338

Hello Dear Ones!

An unusual day energy-wise. Have you ever had a day where someone you have to interact with is angry? You know the kind of anger that is so palpable the air is thick with it? I’ve been doing all I can to release, alter, fix, placate, remedy, mollify, modify, help, ignore … I come well armed with a history of rescuer behaviour – a lifetime pattern of it, in fact. Being a rescuer is labour intensive. It’s a lot of work. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting. For me it’s difficult, sometimes, to just let go and let that individual do whatever he or she needs to do to get through their own issue(s) while I get on with living my happy, Pollyanna life.

I’ve begun to recognize the pattern – that when I’m around angry people I get this knot of tension in my solar plexus and I translate it as fear. Not a comfortable feeling. I get antsy, restless, scared: little girl scared. So during those times of being in the same room or environment with an angry individual it is really important for me to find a way to acknowledge the source of the anger as originating outside of me. It is NOT my emotion and I do not need to hold any of it within the framework of my own body or etheric energy field.

There are things I can do… Continue Reading →